she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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