I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
