I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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