I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize