Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
