suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
