i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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