it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
