Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
