I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
