Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
