Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
