I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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