The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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