You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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