This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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