I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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