32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am spending my child support on dildos
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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