is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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