I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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