I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize