Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
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Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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