She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize