I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am available for nakedness
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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