she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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