i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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