There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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