i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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