Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
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We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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