I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
BRING THE BAGELS
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
