just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
