HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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