all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's the barista slut.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
