Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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