She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Congratulations! We have a period
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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