I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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