I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
