Are we in a gay sports bar?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
