we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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