her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
