Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
