Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
