My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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