oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you had me at cake vodka
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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