i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
