We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
this hospital has no fireball
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
