lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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