I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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