I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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