Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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