I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
