Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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