This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
