if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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