my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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