I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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